Tag: Series review

Marvel Cinematic Universe review part 3

Captain America: Civil War

Captain America: Civil War is like Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice except thousands of times better. This is based off of the comic storyline of the same name, but the movie does a much better of job of living up to the interesting premise of the heroes of the Marvel universe battling each other over ideological differences thanks to good writing and the characters all being sympathetic in their own ways. Both Iron Man’s and Captain America’s sides make valid arguments regarding their positions on the Accords and actually talk to each other, instead of just scowling at each other and brooding. Their positions also showcase their development, with Iron Man deciding he doesn’t have all the answers and Captain America not trusting his government so blindly anymore. Also, for a movie so stuffed with characters it utilizes them all well. Black Panther is introduced and has an interesting character arc, while Spider-Man makes his MCU debut and is awesome. All the action scenes are awesome with practical stunts, the airport scene where all the heroes fight each other is pure entertainment, and the climax is genuinely emotional featuring the falling out of the two heroes we know and love. The villain isn’t anything special, but his motivation is sympathetic and not convoluted or stupid. It’s not as good as The Winter Soldier, but it’s still a great superhero movie and a great conclusion to the Captain America trilogy.
Score: 8/10

Doctor Strange
Doctor Strange is an interesting movie. The first act does an excellent job of building up the character of Stephen Strange, then tearing him because of his hubris. It plays out like a tragedy and is when the film is at its best. Unfortunately the rest of the movie’s plot is pretty forgettable, as it essentially retells the same story the first Iron Man did about a jerk needing to learn humility. Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange is perfect for the role at least. The main selling point of this movie is the trippy, Inception like visuals and effects. They are admittedly impressive, but they’re the only impressive thing in the movie and Inception did them first and better. Mads Mikkelsen’s villain had potential but is just a standard Marvel villain when all is said and done. Also the humor isn’t handled as well as other Marvel movies since this is going for a more serious tone. It’s not a bad movie, just not a memorable one with some entertaining moments sprinkled throughout.
Score: 5/10

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Against the odds it is even better than the first one. Vol. 2 smartly puts less emphasis on worldbuilding and more on character development. The pacing is slower, with the Guardians being separated at times and interacting with different characters. By far the best of these are Yondu and Rocket’s interactions, which give both of them more depth and nuance than the first one showed. The villain is not only miles better than the first one, but where Marvel has finally solved their villain problem. Ego played by Kurt Russell has charisma, you understand why he’s doing what he’s doing, and the sheer level of his atrocities is the worst of any Marvel villain. Even the soundtrack is better than first one, with the opening scene being equal parts hilarious and awesome with one long shot of Baby Groot dancing to “Mr. Blue Sky” while the team fights a giant monster. Words don’t do it justice. Some might think the humor is too much, but I actually thought they did a great job mixing the humor in with the more dramatic moments. It’s easily one of the better Marvel movies and even one of the better comic books movies you can watch.
Score: 8/10

Spider-Man: Homecoming
Finally Spider-Man makes his triumphant debut into the MCU. This is smartly not another origin story, but a story about Peter trying to come into his own as a superhero. Tom Holland was great from what we saw as both the geeky Peter Parker and the wiseass Spider-Man in Civil War, and he proves that he can still pull both off in his own movie. The plot is refreshingly small scale and humble, being more of a slice of life high-school comedy than a typical superhero movie plot. This film, like GotG Vol. 2 shows Marvel has finally found a way to make great villains not named Loki, with Michael Keaton as the Vulture being genuinely sympathetic and likable to the extent I was actually kind of rooting for him to succeed at the end. It’s also refreshing to have a Spider-Man movie where the Green Goblin isn’t the main villain. The humor is also quite appropriate for the setting, instead of forced or out of place like Doctor Strange’s humor was. If there are some negatives I could point to, it would be that Aunt May is way too young to be believable, and Peter’s high-school friend Ned was really obnoxious in the beginning.
Score: 7/10

Thor: Ragnarok
At last, a Thor movie that’s actually good! When your movie’s opening scene involves Thor beating up monsters while Immigrant Song plays, you know you’re in for a wild ride. Ditching the faux Shakespearian drama from the last two Thor movies, Thor: Ragnarok has a level of self-awareness the other ones were lacking. This is the first movie with Thor in it since the first Avengers where I actually found him likable. Chris Hemsworth shows off a lot of comedic talent and wit in this, but can still handle the dramatic moments when needed. People may complain the humor detracts from the apocalyptic scenario, but that just makes the movie more unique in comparison to others like it. I’ll also add that there are some well delivered themes tackling the subject of colonialism on display amidst all the banter and jokes. Every cast member is having a blast in this, especially Jeff Goldblum and Cate Blanchett. Golblum is just having the time of his life, and while Hela may not be the most compelling Marvel villain, Blanchett’s hammy performance ensures you’ll love her every second she’s on screen. New side characters such as Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie and director/actor Taika Waititi as Korg are awesome in their own right. This might very well have the best cast of characters in the MCU so far, with the highlight of the film being how they all play off of each other. Their interactions feel real and human, and if they were improvised I wouldn’t be surprised. One glaring fault is that the CGI and other effects aren’t very good a lot of the time, but this is balanced out by the artstyle and vivid colors of the worlds in the movie. If you’re expecting a grey, dark, miserable drama where everyone is unlikable and mopey, you’re out of luck. Thor: Ragnarok is vibrant, bright, and above all else: fun.
Score: 7/10

Overall
Finally, here is my ranking for the Marvel movies as of right now (an updated one will be posted after Infinity War)
1. The Avengers
2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
3. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
4. Captain America: Civil War
5. Iron Man 3
6. Guardians of the Galaxy
7. Spider-Man: Homecoming
8. Thor: Ragnarok
9. Iron Man
10. Captain America: The First Avenger
11. Ant Man
12. Doctor Strange
13. Avengers: Age of Ultron
14. Thor
15. Iron Man 2
16. Thor: The Dark World
17. The Incredible Hulk

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has had its low points, but their latest string of movies starting with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 have been consistently entertaining and creative. The top six movies are ones I would recommend everyone watch, as they are standout movies in their own right. The bottom three should be skipped entirely, just read a summary online.

 

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Marvel Cinematic Universe review part 2

 

Iron Man 3                                                                                                                                            A lot of people hate Iron Man 3, and to be quite honest I cannot for the life of me understand why. This movie is awesome! It continues not long after where The Avengers left off, and actually had the world and characters dealing with the aftermath of the events of that movie. Tony Stark is suffering from PTSD, and the world is uneasy after the whole alien wormhole in the sky appeared over New York City thing. What I especially love about this movie is that it feels both like an MCU movie, and a director’s own movie. It was directed by Shane Black, who gives the film an energy and wit that other Marvel movies don’t have. The action is amazing spectacle, RDJ does his best work as Tony Stark yet, and delivers an entertaining plot with a ton of awesome moments. There’s even a kid sidekick for a portion of the movie that was actually really endearing, most of the time they’re annoying. I know people complain about it having plot holes, but the movie is so damn entertaining that you barely notice them. Yes, Tony giving his address out on national television and not making necessary precautions was stupid of him, but that was the only moment that really stuck out to me. The other complaint I hear is that it changes Iron Man’s most famous villain from who he was in the comics. That in and of itself is not an issue, because the way they handle it is absolutely hilarious and makes for a good plot twist. Nonetheless, I understand how they feel, and the replacement for him is just under run of the mill Marvel villain instead of someone interesting. Despite those issues, it’s still one of the MCU’s best, and is easily the best Iron Man movie.
Score: 8/10

Thor: The Dark World
Another day, another boring Thor movie. It’s as if they never learned a single lesson from the failings of the first one. While it had issues, if they brought the focus back onto the cosmic and mythological elements in a sequel, this could have been really cool. Instead, it manages to take a step backwards from the first one. The boring human characters return, along with the villain being easily one of the worst in the MCU, and instead of exploring interesting and creative environments, we’re stuck with the most drab and unimpressive ones ever. The best elements of this movie are the interactions between Thor and Loki, but they come far too late into the film to make a difference. Thor: The Dark World is a mediocre bore that you should just read the plot on Wikipedia.
Score: 4/10

Captain America: The Winter Soldier
A movie that could have just been another mediocre, run of the mill MCU sequel film turned out to be a movie just as good as The Avengers, and easily one of the better comic book movies in history that nearly matches The Dark Knight. I find it hilarious how detractors will claim Marvel movies take no chances, because it ignores movies they make like these. It was directed by two directors who mainly had experience doing TV episodes, and features a morally grey spy-thriller plot involving political themes of security versus freedom, starring one of the most morally pure superheroes in history. That’s what I would call taking a risk, and boy did it pay off. The plot is extremely well paced and written, with intrigue and conspiracies straight out of a Jason Bourne film, the fight scenes have great choreography featuring practical stunt work and effects, with many action scenes being among the best in the entire MCU. The Winter Soldier is a pretty menacing and compelling rival for Steve Rogers, and seeing Captain America be forced to confront the darker side of the country he has given his life and soul to is compelling character development. Even the score is a step up from other Marvel movies, with The Winter Soldier’s theme being instantly memorable and chilling. The only main complaint I have is that there isn’t enough interaction between Captain America and the Winter Soldier, so the twist to his identity doesn’t have quite as much dramatic gravitas as it could have. Other than that though this is by far one of the best MCU movies, and is a top tier superhero movie.
Score: 9/10

Guardians of the Galaxy
Again, another risky movie that paid off. Marvel took some of their most obscure characters ever, gave it to the director of the R-rated black comedy Super, and dished out an awesome sci-fi adventure. You know you’re movie is going to be a wild ride when it begins with the main character getting abducted by aliens after his mom dies of cancer, and then flashes forward to him dancing to “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone. The movie never suffers from tonal whiplash though because James Gunn excels at balancing tones. Guardians of the Galaxy’s biggest strength is its characters and the chemistry they have with each other, which manages to carry its rather simplistic plot. Peter Quill is the Han Solo-esque rogue, Drax is a member of a literal minded species, Gamora is the serious one who was enslaved as a child, Rocket is a talking raccoon whose easily the most morally ambiguous of the group, and Groot is a giant, talking tree that can only say “I Am Groot.” They’re all quirky, but they are more than their quirks, being multi-layered and having their own baggage they have to deal with in their own ways. It keeps you invested in their fate as they travel to these creative and interesting worlds that make the universe they inhabit feel alive. What holds it back from reaching true greatness is the villain being a Saturday morning cartoon character, the plot being very simple, and the sense that the movie is concerned with being an introduction to this new world and characters rather than standing on its own. Still, with awesome characters, a creative universe to explore, and a soundtrack that absolutely kicks ass, this movie is very good.
Score: 7.5/10

Avengers: Age of Ultron
If the first Avengers movie was a massive step forward for comic book movies, the sequel unfortunately stagnates. It repeats many of the same plot elements from the first movie: big action scene in the beginning that sets up the rest of the plot, hero versus hero due to mind control, the villain wants to “save” humanity in their own twisted way, a cool down period in the middle of the second act, climax is in a big city, etc. The movie is the most obviously “filler episode” of the MCU since Iron Man 2, more concerned with setting up plot points for future movies rather than standing on its own. It also has one of the most bafflingly out of left field romances I’ve seen featuring Black Widow and Bruce Banner, with not even a little build up to it, and a deus ex machine at the climax because the movie wrote itself into a corner. The more I talk about this movie the more I realize just how disposable and a waste of time it is. It didn’t even have Alan Silvestri return to do the score. Just watch some scenes on YouTube or read about it online. James Spader as Ultron was pretty cool at least.
Score: 4.5/10

Ant Man
This was a refreshing, surprisingly entertaining movie. It is a small, humble heist film with superheroes in it. Scott Lang is an ex con who through a series of events gets recruited into becoming the new Ant Man by Hank Pym, the old one. This was originally going to be directed by Edgar Wright, but creative differences lead to him departing from the project and Peyton Reed stepping in to take over. He did a pretty good job and I’m glad he’s returning to direct the next Ant Man movie. Scott Lang is a very likable and sympathetic protagonist, trying to leave his old life behind and redeem himself for his mistakes so he can be a good father to his daughter. Michael Douglas as Hank Pym was also really good, and serves as a great mentor figure and mirror to Scott Lang. The plot is nothing special, it’s just another heist movie but with some added flavor by adding superheroes and cool moments from Ant Man’s ability to shrink and communicate with ants, and the villain is yet again another generic evil businessman with a personal vendetta, like the first Iron Man movie. The villain even fights the hero in a suit that also mirrors the hero’s, just like Obadiah Stane from Iron Man. Humor wise it’s a pretty funny movie and the humor doesn’t get in the way of the dramatic moments, and there were even a few scenes with their editing style and quick pace felt like Edgar Wright directed them, but they didn’t feel out of place or inconsistent with the movie’s overall direction. It could have been better, but it is still an entertaining movie that did try to add some new flavor to the market, and I’m interested in what a sequel can do.
Score: 6/10

Marvel Cinematic Universe review part 1

With Black Panther and Avengers: Infinity War coming out this year, I figured I would get fully up to speed with the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). I’ve seen many of them before, but not all of them. This franchise is a truly exceptional creation by showing you can be entertaining to mass audiences and faithful to the source material at the same time. This could have been a disaster from day one, but ever since Iron Man in 2008, Marvel has been making some of the most entertaining superhero movies ever, all set in the same universe, with B list characters mainstream audiences had never even heard of.

I am splitting up this review into three parts, with each part covering one phase of the MCU. So this part will cover Phase One, the next whenever it comes out will be Phase Two, and finally the last one will be Phase Three ending with Thor: Ragnarok. Black Panther and Infinity War will have their own entries for review.

Iron Man
We start off on a pretty good foot with the first Iron Man movie. Iron Man was a B list character not well known to general audiences, and hiring an actor like Robert Downey Jr., whose career seemed to have come and gone just added more risks to it. Yet, the movie is really good. RDJ as Tony Stark is one of the best casting decisions in history, because he IS Iron Man. The movie begins on a surprisingly dark note, with Tony Stark being kidnapped after his escort of American soldier is murdered by terrorists in a shootout. He then works with another scientist to escape, and has a change of heart about the practices of his company. They actually take time to develop the relationship between Tony and this scientist, causing you to genuinely care for them and hope they succeed. The other relationships he has, like with his best friend James Rhodes played by Terrance Howard and Gwyneth Paltrow as his loyal, snarky, and highly intelligent personal assistant Pepper Potts are interesting and feel real as well thanks to good acting and dialogue.
Tony’s development from a selfish jerk who is blind to the consequences of his company’s weapons dealing, to a selfless, but still flawed man who wants to make amends is poignant and well done. And it still manages to keep things relatively bearable by having very funny dialogue and character moments in between all the serious scenes and action. It’s plot is overall simple but well told, with some political elements sprinkled throughout to give it a sense of realism. Compared to the other Marvel movies it is also shockingly small scale, with more personal stakes. It’s not the best of the bunch though, with the villain being just a greedy, envious businessman, the action scenes aren’t really that impressive save for the scene with Iron Man and the two jets, and the third act in general being a disappointment. Still, it’s really good and still holds up today overall.
Score: 7/10

The Incredible Hulk
This movie is boring. Personally I’ve always found Hulk not to be an interesting character but I’m sure you can make good movies out of him. This is not one of them. Edward Norton as Bruce Banner is good, but doesn’t distinguish himself in any way anyone else couldn’t have done. I am sure that’s the fault of the material he was working with, not him though. The romance between him and Betty Ross played by Liv Tyler is so bland I’m struggling to remember it, thanks to her unremarkable performance. The villain is boring too. Really boring is the best word to describe this movie, and apparently the MCU agrees because this movie and most of its characters are forgotten about in later MCU movies. The one interesting thing about it is the element of Bruce having a heart monitor to keep an eye on his stress level, and he can’t even have sexual intercourse because he gets too excited and risks the Hulk coming out. Skip it, you’ll miss nothing.
Score: 3/10

Iron Man 2
The first direct sequel in the MCU. It’s not as bad as Hulk was by virtue of having Robert Downey Jr. in it, but it’s still mostly forgettable. This time there are two main villains, Justin Hammer and Ivan Vanko played by Mickey Rourke. Mickey Rourke is definitely a step up from the previous two main baddies, but he gets taken out in the most anticlimactic way possible, and Justin Hammer is just another smarmy businessman like the first Iron Man movie villain. The whole movie feels mostly concerned with setting up future movies than being its own, with hints of Captain America and the big Avengers movie to come. It’s a bit jarring at first to see Colonel James Rhodes played by Don Cheadle, replacing Terrance Howard, but he grows on you over the course of the movie. Black Widow gets introduced in this movie too, and all her scenes are pretty entertaining. It’s not an awful movie, just rather dull and doesn’t have that charm and sense of originality that the first one did.
Score: 5/10

Thor
Okay we’re getting a bit back on track here with Thor, Marvel’s resident Norse God. This movie is again, not bad, but a very mixed bag and average in the long term. Whenever the plot is on Asgard, it’s really entertaining and creative. With the visuals and design of Asgard evoking grand myths of old and all the characters speaking like they’re in a Shakespeare play, it’s really cheesy but they make it work. It even begins in media rias like old myths did. Chris Hemsworth as Thor is another casting jackpot and Tom Hiddleston as Loki is equally great, and cements himself as one of Marvel’s best villains ever, playing a tragic and complex character motivated for personal reasons beyond simple greed and revenge. Hell, every single cast member playing the Asgardians are perfect for the roles. Anthony Hopkins as Odin is both commanding and intimidating, and Idris Elba as Heimdall is awesome in his own right next to them all. Too bad the plot on Earth drags it down. When Thor gets banished to Earth for his arrogant and selfish actions leading to war, I mostly lost interest. The human characters are dull and exactly what you’d expect them to be, with Natalie Portman playing Thor’s boring love interest. That and everything on Earth just looks so bland compared to the majestic visuals of Asgard. I am sure that’s intentional, but you can still keep things engaging. What just keeps it above water is Thor’s character development. It’s kind of like Tony Stark’s in that it’s about a jerk learning the consequences of his actions and not being a jerk anymore, but it remains fresh by it about Thor learning how to grow from an overgrown boy into a wise man who is worthy of being a king. It’s not that it’s a bad movie, but it had the potential to be so much more.
Score: 5/10

Captain America: The First Avenger
At last an MCU movie that reaches the bar Iron Man did, mostly. Captain America is big step up from the previous three movies, thanks to some great action scenes, a perfect lead, and a tone that feels like it was ripped right out of a pulp magazine from the 40s. Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America is just as great casting, if not more so than RDJ. He comes across as a genuinely heroic man with no strings attached, something that is refreshing compared to the previous flawed heroes that the MCU had showcased. Hugo Weaving as the Red Skull is so gloriously evil that he makes the perfect villain for Captain America to go up against, a Nazi obsessed with power and glory versus a kid from Brooklyn who just wants to do the right thing. The supporting cast all manage to do a good job as well, and even the romance between Rogers and Peggy Carter is a step up from the previous Marvel movies, and comic book movies in general. What also makes this movie stand above the crowd is how it embraces the ridiculous. The World War II setting features futuristic Nazi technology and occult research that you would expect to see in a Wolfenstein game. What hurts the movie the most is that it’s first half is considerably stronger than its second one. The first half is about Steve Rogers being recruited, proving himself to be stronger in heart than he is in body, getting the super serum injected into him, being used as a recruitment tool instead of the frontlines, and finally rescuing American troops from a Nazi prison camp in the movie’s best action scene. After that the movie doesn’t reach those levels of emotional engagement or excitement, with most of Captain America’s WW2 exploits being glossed over in a quick montage. The movie would have benefited from actually showing and exploring those scenes. Still with a genuinely great first half and having a quite tragic ending, Captain America: The First Avenger is a pretty good, entertaining movie that shows Marvel wasn’t just a one trick pony with the first Iron Man movie.
Score: 7/10

The Avengers
After five movies of build up, some good, some bad, it’s finally arrived. This movie attempted something that had never been done before, to have multiple characters from different movies within the MCU crossover into one, mega blockbuster event. It had everything going against it, and could have been a miserable failure, but it wasn’t. The Avengers is a great movie, and one of the best comic book movies ever made. All your favorite heroes are here, fighting an alien invasion led by a returning Loki. It’s like seeing a great comic book crossover event play out on the big screen, with all the grand spectacle you would expect. Every single character plays off of each other perfectly, with neither overshadowing the other. Mark Ruffalo replaces Edward Norton as Bruce Banner and he is about ten times better than Norton ever was, portraying him in a way that means that no one can replace Ruffalo as Hulk now. The only real negative is that the first act is kind of slow due to needing to build up the rest of the movie, but it ends on a high note, and it just gets better from there. The action scenes are all extremely creative and have the heroes use their talents individually or together in interesting ways, with everyone being useful and having a purpose to being there. Thor for example, might be the god of thunder, but he alone can’t stop the invasion, and Captain America can’t just do it all himself. They all genuinely work as a team, and they don’t just get along from the beginning either. Acts one and two have them mostly at each other’s necks, with no one really trusting the other’s intentions until a beloved side character gets killed, and they realize they need to set aside their differences to save the world. The movie also keeps things light and fun by having smart, clever dialogue, thanks to director/writer Joss Whedon. That, and having a pretty kickass main theme that is now instantly recognizable, The Avengers is excellent and is Joss Whedon’s finest hour. See Justice League and Warner Brothers?! THIS is how you do a superhero team up movie!
Score: 9/10

Alien Series review

So for this October I decided to watch every single movie in the Alien franchise. What began as a sci-fi horror movie in 1979 directed by Ridley Scott has now become a massive franchise with sequels, prequels, video games, crossovers across various media, and comic books. I did not watch the Alien vs Predator movies because they are just non-canon fanservice for fans of both properties and I have not seen the Predator movies anyway.

alien-movie-posterAliens-1986-Posteralien-3-poster-2alien resurrectionPrometheus2alien_covenant_new_movie_poster

Alien
It’s been decades since it was first released in theaters and is still one of the best horror films ever made. The story and characters are nothing special but they’re well carried by the actors’ performances and the plot’s pacing. A crew of a commercial spaceship called the Nostromo discover a derelict alien spaceship that ends up housing a dangerous threat unlike anything ever seen. It looks better than most movies in general today thanks to excellent set design, practical effects, and Ridley Scott’s superb direction and cinematography. The eponymous Alien (Xenomorph) is still one of the most menacing horror antagonists ever because of its design (RIP H.R. Giger), and of how there is no complex explanation or backstory for its actions. It’s a predator and the crew is the prey, simple as that. Like the best horror movies, it relies on subtlety and nail-biting tension rather than jump scares and gore. A sci-fi slasher movie where the slasher is a Lovecraftian-esque monster with origins unknown to us. The only negative that drags it down is the characters not being memorable outside of our main lead Ellen Ripley, but other than that it’s still a great movie.

Aliens
This movie is awesome. The sequel that surpassed the original and then some. Ripley wakes up after over fifty years of hyper sleep to discover her daughter Amanda has passed away years ago from cancer, and no one believes her story about how her crew was killed. A Xenomorph outbreak on the colony Hadley’s Hope causes her to team up with the Colonial Marines to take on her old enemy. Directed by James Cameron instead of Ridley Scott, Cameron wisely decided to take the film in an action oriented direction instead of trying to one up the original, thus creating one of the best sci-fi action movies of all time. The universe set up in the original is expanded upon more, the characters are much more memorable, Ellen Ripley cements her status as one of the best female action heroes in history, and it has the best action scenes ever. Like the first movie the story itself is nothing really special, but the characters are vastly better in this one and with Ripley becoming a surrogate mother to the child character Newt in this movie, it’s much more emotionally engaging since it’s genuinely sad to see characters get brutally killed, and extremely happy to see others make it out alive. Hicks, Newt, Hudson, Vasquez, Bishop and then some all make up the best set of characters the series has ever seen. It also has messages about the arrogance of a technologically superior force fighting a seemingly weaker enemy, which was inspired by the U.S.’s bungling of the Vietnam War, so it’s a much smarter movie than it appears to be at first glance. The lines are iconic (“Game over man! Game over!” “Get away from her you bitch!”), the special effects still look great today, it still manages to keep the nail biting tension the original movie had, and the ending has one of the best final battles in action movies ever with the Xenomorph Queen and it wraps up Ripley’s character arc perfectly. You can make other movies in the series but here is where Ripley’s character should’ve been left. Easily now in my favorite movies list, one of the best sequels ever, and the best movie in the franchise. There’s a small but vocal minority of people who hate this movie for moving away from first movie’s horror. Well be careful what you wish for because you get a new Alien movie with an emphasis on horror in the next one…

Alien 3
This is the exact opposite of Aliens. It’s one of the worst sequels ever made because instead of being exciting it’s boring, it’s a slog to get through, the characters are mostly dull and unlikable, has an bad ending and pisses on Ripley’s character. Remember Hicks and Newt? They get killed in the beginning of Alien 3, retroactively ruining the completely wonderful ending of the previous movie! I’m not against movies set after Aliens, but they should have little to do with Ellen Ripley. There are other stories you can tell, as shown with the now non-canon Dark Horse Alien comics and Alien: Isolation video game. There can be a movie about Newt grown up kicking Xenomorph ass, or another movie about the Colonial Marines, but leave Ripley alone. This movie had a notoriously troubled production and was David Fincher’s directorial debut, but not even he can salvage this boring turd. It’s the kind of horror movie that relies on shock value deaths and gore to scare its audience, which gets boring after it happens once or twice. The special effects aren’t even that good thanks to some poorly used and aged CGI, and that’s not even getting into the new prison setting being visually uninteresting with only the colors being grey and yellowish brown. Lastly, Ripley goes from being a badass who kicked Xeno ass to being terrified of the Xenomorph again, then they kill her off at the end of the movie via heroic sacrifice to end the threat once and for all. Some people say the Assembly Cut is a genuinely good movie. It’s not, so don’t watch it for your own sake.

Alien: Resurrection
Accomplishes the impressive goal of being even worse than the third movie. It takes place 200 years after Alien 3 and a new company studying the Xenomorphs clones Ripley. Yep, they didn’t even have the guts to stick with 3’s ending of her character. Even the opening credits are inferior to 3’s, and the worst of the entire series! This is the Batman and Robin of the Alien movies, with terrible acting, special effects, and a campy tone that is disrespectful to its own series. The only good things I can say about it is that its visual style is more interesting than 3’s and Ron Perlman is a blast in it, but everything else is worse. The story I hear is Joss Whedon wrote this script to try to get fired from his job, but studio executives actually took it seriously. If that’s true, then every stereotype of movie executives is pretty much justified. Another Xenomorph outbreak occurs because of corporate incompetence, but this time it’s really inexcusable. The movie takes place 200 years after Alien 3, so they should know the Xenos have acid blood, but their cages aren’t even acid proof! It’s like they wanted an accident to happen! It’s constantly pulling stuff out of its ass as the plot keeps moving that make no sense. Fuck this movie.

Prometheus
This is a prequel to the original movies with Ridley Scott back at the director’s helm. I don’t find it to be the masterpiece it tried to be or the ultimate betrayal of the other movies fans found it to be (Did they forget the last two movies exist?). I’m glad they finally moved on from Ripley’s character so as not to butcher it any further, so that was an automatic plus in my book. I think it has some interesting ideas but the execution left a lot to be desired. It wants to explore the origins of the Xenomorphs and of humanity in general, with an advanced race of aliens called the “Engineers” being the overall antagonists. The problem with this is that it feels torn between being a prequel and wanting to be its own movie, so none of the ideas it wants to explore feel fleshed out. Ridley Scott is still a great visual director that very few can match, and that combined with the much better CGI and special effects for this movie make it utterly beautiful at times. Everything else though, there’s a lot left to be desired. The biggest problems by far are the characters and their stupidity. These people are the dumbest group of researchers that have ever lived. The plot wouldn’t move if it weren’t for their idiotic mistakes, like a biologist approaching a strange alien creature or one of the crew members not telling the others he noticed a parasite in his eye while looking at his face in the mirror. Also, the technology is more advanced despite being a prequel to the other movies, but that’s kind of a nitpick that can be explained by the crew having a higher budget compared to the crew of the first movie who were basically truckers in space. Michael Fassbender’s android character David is pretty interesting, however he’s the only one I liked. Not even the main character Shaw was memorable. I wouldn’t call it good, but exploring the origins of the Xenomorphs with other characters is an interesting premise that a sequel could have built upon. Key phrase being could have.

Alien: Covenant
Whatever potential the ideas from Prometheus had to be fleshed out has gone unfulfilled. It has the same problems as Prometheus but with some new ones too. The characters are uninteresting and make dumb decisions but even more so. David returns from Prometheus and is turned into some cartoonish super villain who created the Xenomorphs just because he could, killed Shaw off screen, and committed genocide on the Engineers between the two movies. The Xenomorphs and facehuggers make their return to pacify the fans who were disappointed that Prometheus had very little to do overall with the actual origins of the Xenomorphs. The best aspect is the good direction from Ridley Scott again, but it’s a very hollow movie overall and at this point I have no doubt he barely cares. The script went through some pretty heavy rewrites, and all the ideas it had before sound way more interesting than the glorified half sequel to Prometheus, half remake of Alien we got.

Overall
This is how I rank the Alien movies from best to worst:
1. Aliens
2. Alien
3. Prometheus
4. Alien: Covenant
5. Alien 3
6. Alien: Resurrection
The first two movies are amazing while the rest aren’t worth watching. Prometheus has its moments but its issues drag it down too much. After the mess that was Covenant, I have no interest in seeing any other movie made in this franchise. They should have called it quits after Aliens, at least in regards to Ellen Ripley’s story. Just watch the first two, then play the video game Alien: Isolation. It’s about Amanda Ripley, Ellen’s biological daughter who died in between the first two movies as she tries to discover the truth of her mother’s disappearance. It’s a pretty good game that actually tells a much better story than the other movies of the series.